The Internet Porn Tree

Who is the man seeking light from darkness?
Comfort, from weakness guised as power
shackled to the prison in his mind
seeking that, which he will never find

A hunger unsettled by forbidden fruit
The tree does not care, does not see
abundant fruit it provides for thee
Rotting mind, damaged soul, like water for the roots
The dark, ugly, twisting, suffocating, roots

Some call it, the pleasure tree, others, the ruiner and the destroyer
for those who walk too close, often crawl away, blind
what a bind, that jagged edged cycle that feeds on the mind

To see beyond the tree, through it and pierce the cold armoured bark
To relieve one’s self of the sickness, cannot be done alone
The tree likes ‘alone’ it likes ‘secrets’ and it feeds on ‘shame’
It needs, doubt, fear, lust and madness to remain.

Strangers tear you away, like a rotten tooth without anaesthetic
the pain and agony will break many, yet…
a friend can take your hand and lead you until you can lead yourself
Your fear, doubt and shame unsettled in a box discarded on a shelf
good friends help to open the box, come what may, guide you
through the silent screams and years of hurt.

grains of truth pile in, knowledge gained from places unventured
rage is vented. Yourself, the world
even the walls around you reverberate with echoes of your past.
Necessary pain, like a splinter removed, new skin can form, old wounds can heal

No more do I walk to the tree
See, when you starve something, it dies
When you stand up to something, you grow tall
It’s endless lurid darkness, holds no power over me
A light now shines within, because you held my hand and guided me
dad, friend, stranger, trained therapist with lots of letters after their name
We hacked and we slashed away at the tree, down to the roots
to find
a better
way
of being
me

by James